Unanswered.

"Matt? What... what are you doing here?"


"I tried to avoid but it was stronger than me... I was worried about you and-"


"You followed me?"


"What did you want me to do? You don't know that guy. You don't know what he is capable of doing and-"


"Matt, I can look after myself. Don't worry, it's everything okay."


"Are you sure? Natasha, you don't need to do this. I know that y-"


"Matt, go home. Seriously... we talk about it later, okay? "


"Do what you want." - Matt pulls away from me and starts walking towards the exit of the restaurant. I run after him, grabbing his arm to stop him but he shakes it, making me let him go. I stop for a moment, watching him go. He gets into the car, closing the door with some violence and starts the car with such speed that leaves me breathless. He's right. I'm making a big mistake and all because I feel lonely and needy. All because I miss attention. I am vulnerable and people get to see it. Maybe Jimmy didn't want to abuse about it but... how could I be so stupid and have accepted this invitation? Not to mention how I feel right now to see Matt here, worried about me. I confess that it hurts to see him here and ask him to go away like he was nothing. I confess that I felt more than I wanted seeing the evil that I'm doing. For more desire I have to leave, I cannot do this. Jimmy has been a sweetheart to me. For the first time in this city, someone asks me to go out... I cannot just leave without a reason.

I come back to the terrace where Jimmy is, for sure, desperately waiting for me. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't even see what's going on around me. When I go to leave the restaurant to the terrace, I feel my body hitting another.


"I'm so sorry, sir." - Without looking at the person I had gone against, I start walking towards our table, but I hear a familiar voice that makes me look back.


"Natasha? I wasn’t expecting to see you here."


"Professor Baker... well, I... came... dinner with a friend." - I feel so nervous that my voice trembles as much as my body. I turn back and look at Jimmy as I have to give some sort of justification to Professor Baker. He looks at Jimmy, moving a little to be able to see him, since I'm in front of him, and smiles admiringly.


"He is the owner of the tattoo shop on the main avenue, right?"


"Yes, he is. Do you know him?"


"No, but a friend had already talked him. I'm a huge tattoos lover as you already got it..." - Yes, it's impossible not to notice it. - "…And as I had a drag with my tattooist, some friends talked to me about him. What’s his name? Ji... Jimmy, right? "


"Yes, exactly."


"I'd ask you to introduce me to him but it's not the right time. There will be others opportunities, for sure." - The only answer I give is a 'yellow smile' for who don't agree at all with what he said. I wouldn't even care if Professor Baker wanted me to introduce him to Jimmy. It was a good way to spent more time and I'd go back home sooner. But to make things 'better', I see Professor Baker looking to his table and I suspect what he will say next. - "If you were alone, I'd invite you to dinner with us. I'm with Brian.” - He points to his table, and, of course, I look quickly. Professor Haner looks at me and smiles, raising his hand to greet me. I feel goose bumps all over my body and I just smile at him. I look back, in a way to look away from Professor Haner, and see Jimmy leaning his head on his hand, as if he's tired of being there alone. As if he's tired... he's really bored.


"Thank you ... but I'd better get going because..."


"Sure. Don't make him waiting more. It was a pleasure to see you here."


"Thank you, Professor Baker."


We say goodbye and I go back to my sit. I sit down slowly, looking and smiling at Jimmy in a godly way so he can forgive me. He looks at me, without looking up and I see perfectly that he's making a huge effort not to laugh.


"Are you happy? Leave here a man all alone waiting for his maiden all this time?"


"It's better having a man waiting for a woman, than a woman waiting for a man."


"It’s the same, Natasha!"


"Okay... I'm sorry. I had an unforeseen... or rather, two. "


"Yeah, yeah... an unforeseen..."


"Yes, two, actually... but one of them even worth it. I just got you a new client!"


"Don't tell me you're going to get a tattoo?"


"Yeah, actually I liked but not for now. Professor Baker, who was there talking to me... well, he has his body tattooed... "


"What?? That guy ... that guy has tattoos?"


"He has. Many. His arms, at least, are tattooed. But as I was saying, he seems to want to change his tattoo artist and someone suggested you. Not me... but I think I gave a little help."


"You ... are ... an angel!" - Jimmy gets up from the chair and even across the table, grabs my face and gives me a big kiss on the forehead. He is so spontaneous and it makes me feel good on his side. I feel good and I like he has this kind of attitude despite being fussy and not caring about anything or anyone.

But I think this is funny on him. Throughout the night, we talk about our lives. Obviously, I don't tell even half of what was really my life. I couldn't do that, because I want to forget everything what happened. However, he's not a fool and he realized that there was much more to tell, but he doesn't insist. I find out that he's a rebel and has been arrested several times. He may have committed the worst things in the world, despite not having been the case, but he says things with an ease and a funny way so there is no way of getting sad or uncomfortable around him. We stay at the restaurant for hours and hours. I neither realized Professor Baker and Professor Haner leaving the restaurant. However, we are warned that the restaurant will close. Jimmy insisted on paying for dinner, saying that "A gentleman pays for the dinner and never, ever, lets a lady pay for it."
After payment, we left and headed to the car, never leaving part of our conversation.


"I cannot believe you had balls to do this ..."


"Trust me. I had no choice. Or I undressed myself, or the guy would give me a shot. Check how these cops are. They can't see a tattooed and unusual dude drinking a shot as soon as they think we are criminals."


"But, was it necessary to take the boxers off too?"


"No, but the chicks who were in the bar didn't care."


"Oh, of course! I can imagine that... "


"Do you want to see?"


"No, I don't, Jimmy. Thank you. "


"You're welcome!"


***


I come home. After all, it was a funny night. It was worth it and I think I begin to choose the good ways to go. I confess that I was lucky and I believe that Jimmy and I will be good friends in the future.
But regardless of having spent a very pleasant night with him, there's something that is torturing me, even though I try to forget. Even if I try to deny it, I cannot continue to hide what I'm really feeling. I'm completely lost in feelings I can't interpret. And it's like everything made ​​sense but at the same time I lose myself in that sense. My day-to-day changed from one moment to another. I feel things I never felt before. I feel like my life with be a real roller coaster when I feel everything and anything in seconds and I can't stop it.

Matt came into my life by accident. But the truth is I feel something strong for him that I can't explain. I feel protected or more than that. When he hugs me it's like everything around us disappears up. I was able to cuddle him for hours, feeling his whole body pressed against mine, feeling his hand go down my back, as if he was saying 'It's okay'. I want him with me every time I see him. I just want him.

Jimmy... the kiss he gave me this afternoon, I confess which stirred something in me. It was very intense and unexpected. It was something that made me look at him in a completely different way. But everything changed with this dinner. I don't look at Jimmy in the same way I look at Matt. My 'relationship' with Jimmy is more transparent and pure. It's a growing friendship. I learned a lot from this dinner with Jimmy. Enough to delete any illusion on my head.

But there's someone else who makes me lose sense of everything and makes me lose control of myself. The way I feel when I see him. I feel chills in my whole body every time he looks me in the eyes in a so intense and shy way as who want me more than anything else. I'm honest. There is something between us. Something that makes me to want him and wish him. Perhaps the impossibility of having him. Maybe the way he tries to avoid me in a way that I can't understand at all. It's something physical. Something carnal. I wish I could feel him in every way. I wish to make all kind of things with him. But I know I cannot do it and it still makes me even madder. Such a person is, of course, Professor Haner. It can happen to me everything, but nothing makes me forget the intensity of his gaze, his words, his touch, the drawing of his lips, his shy way of being...

I'm going to my bedroom where I put my bag on my desk and wear my pajamas to become more at ease. I go to the bathroom, clean my face and wash my teeth and I go back to the room. It's late but I don't feel sleepy. Many things have happened and I'm unable to lie down and fall asleep. I sit on the couch, clutching a pillow and turn on the television. I find myself changing the channels but my thoughts are focused somewhere else. This makes my eyes look to the coffee table. The last note that Professor Haner gave me and I haven't had the courage to read it. But it goes to happen today. I stretch my arm to reach it. I have it already on my hand. I unfold it and, taking a deep breath, look at him. I don't read the first two sentences.

My eyes fix on an address and a phone number. There is something in the number that calls me to attention. I caught on my phone and I see answered calls. It was Professor Haner who called me when I was in the hospital. But... Why didn't he say something if he knew perfectly that I would end up discovering it was him?
I shake my head as if I’m trying to get that thought out of my mind. Landing the phone by my side, I read the first two sentences.


"Sometimes, as much as I try to avoid it, it's stronger than everything else.
I'll wait for you."

In Between.

"Hmm ... I don't know. I know nothing about you ...”


"I don't know anything about you too. But, think with me, if we don't try, we'll never know, right?"


"Yes, but..."


"Well, today at 8 in the restaurant by the beach, okay?"


"Hey, I didn't agr-"


"Well, I gotta go. I still have plenty to do until our dinner! See ya later, Natasha." - Jimmy takes on several beer cans, put them in the shopping cart, and runs down the hall as if he's running away from me. I'm here, glued to the ground, and astonished looking at Jimmy leaving with a silly smile on my face that insisted not to go away. I feel it's becoming hard to understand what really happened here. I had seen Jimmy several times at the door of his store, smoking and watching people. But I never noticed he was watching me. Also because I never looked directly at him.

But... what do I do now? I can't have dinner with him. I can't. Only a person completely insane would accept to have dinner with a stranger. But he gave me no chance to say anything. And it's hard to me to not go and leave him there waiting for me all night. But, in case, can be him who doesn’t appear. Maybe he's just kidding me... Oh, come on. Natasha, it's enough! You can't stand here and grind the brain with unanswered questions.

I start running around the supermarket looking for Jimmy. He's very tall, so it's not that hard to find him. After several rounds to the halls, I found him in line to pay. I beg leave to people standing in line, leaving them a bit bothersome thinking I was going ahead of them, until I reach Jimmy. I touch his back with my finger to draw to his attention but he doesn't look back. I feel so small beside him, what gives me fear to touch him. After several attempts, I grab his arm and turn him suddenly to me.


"You prefer to be in your house?" - He said, looking at me with a smile from ear to ear and truly raunchy.


"I'll have dinner with you. But promise me you won't leave me there waiting for you all night long."


"Are you crazy? I believe it's you doing that. I would be unable to do so. Although it seems that I'm mocking you, but I'm not. "


"See? How do you want me to have dinner with you if you are making fun of me?" - Jimmy looks back to see if it had come his turn. He looks at me again and I just feel his hand on the bottom of my back pulling me against his body and he kisses me so intensely that, briefly, I stop breathing. He stops the kiss and without pulling himself away from me, his gaze dominates my whole body and I am unable to move.


"I'll pick you up at your house and we go together to the restaurant, okay? So nobody waits for nobody." - He turns away from me preparing to pay for his purchases. Once again, I'm like a statue, watching people passing in front of me, looking at me and smiling with what they had just seen. It takes a little time to me to realize what had happened. Jimmy kissed me. But why the hell he kissed me? I'm beginning to retreat in the middle of all those people and go back to where it all started; after all, I had left there my shopping cart. Once there, I grab it and go to the cashier for payment. It seems that I lost track of everything and now I can't even concentrate on the rest of the stuff I needed. I get to the cashier to pay, but Jimmy is no longer here. I look around, looking for him but, of course, he's gone.


***


Finally, I'm home. I've packed up the very few purchases I did in place and now I'm ready to study a little. Study... poof... As if that were possible at the moment. Even so, I sit at my desk, I open the book and start reading the first lines. I return again and again to the beginning of the paragraph, but that kiss didn't get out of my head. As much as I try not to think at that moment I feel Jimmy pushing me against him and I feel his lips on mine, it seems everything is returned back over and over again. Sends shivers throughout my body just thinking about it. Convinced that I really want to study, I caught in a piece of paper and a pen and start taking notes of what I’m reading. Without realizing it, I forget that moment and I'm pursuing 100% in what I'm doing but, rather, as there's always a 'but', someone knocks at the door. I land the pencil with some violence over the book and approach to the door. When I open it, Matt come in up quickly without leaving me to say anything.


"I told you it was not too long."


"Yeah...I see." - I don't feel well at all, and Matt realizes that. I close the door and go back to my office where I was before studying, sitting down again and returned to the book I was reading. Matt comes behind me and sits beside me, looking at me, confused, trying to understand what is happening. I'm not able to look at him and not to tell a word which makes me feel even worse.


"Natasha... did something happen?"


"No, nothing. Why do you ask? "


"Because you look weird... this morning you look fine with me and now... you're avoiding me..." - I look down, smiling sadly. I can't deny what Matt is saying because, actually, he's right. I take a deep breath and decide that the best thing I should do is tell him the truth. No, I'll hide the kissing part.


"Matt I ... I'm going out with someone tonight."


"Oh, really? Who is he? Don't tell me is that charmer teacher that... "


"No. It's not Professor Haner. It's... a guy I met today at the supermarket."


"What?" - Matt gets up and begins to raise his voice. He looks at me in a rude manner but at the same time disappointed. - "You're that kind of bitches? You know the guy in a minute and in the minute later you're going out with him?"


"That's not it, Matt. And calm down, okay? He's the owner of the tattoo shop. That one down the street. We crossed paths at the grocery store today and he invited me to dinner."


"And you're going. Sure, it makes perfect sense. 'He works at the tattoo shop at the foot of my house, so there is no problem in accepting to go out with him.' Please, Natasha. "


"Look, Matt..." - I get up, this time a little elated. - "...I don' understand why you're having this kind of reaction. After all you're here and I don't even know you yet and also helped you with the police and, moreover, you made me rob that house with you."


"You're right. But do you want me to go away? Okay, but I'm here because I felt that we could have something. I mean, I felt I could be your friend and I could help you in some way. I wonder how much you suffer. I saw it in your body. But if you don't want me here, I'm leaving."


"No. Don't go." - Matt leaves the office but I'm going after him and grab his arm to stop him. He turns, looking at me. Our bodies are approaching. Matt's hand touches my face and his thumb gently slides on my lips. The desire to kiss him is bigger that my breathing begins to increase. Matt grabs my hand and his eyes are focused on my lips. I feel lost in his hands. Matt approaches more and I can feel his breathing becoming closer to my lips. But I cannot do it. I shouldn't do it. I need to put the ideas in order and know exactly what I want, which is impossible to know at this time.

I walk away from him quickly, leaning myself on my office door. I look at him deeply in the eye, trying to control my breathing. He looks at me in the same way, smiling and approaching me. He grabs my hands and gives me a lingering kiss on the forehead.


"I want to get to know you. I know you're going through a very complicated moment and I, partly, didn't help... but I want you to know that, above all, you have a friend here, okay?" - I smiled and nodded, looking at him with puppy ​​eyes as if asking for pampering what makes him give a laugh. - "Come here, little girl!" - Matt pulls me by the hands and hugs me lovingly.


"You have no idea how much I need a hug like that."


"I know that, Natasha. I'm here for that. But now I'll leave you in peace. You need to get ready."


"Get ready for what?"


"Won't you have dinner with the tattooed guy?"


"I will but I will as I am dressed. I mean, I can change clothes but won't wear a dress or a miniskirt just covering my ass." - Matt gives a laugh so sincere that makes me laugh too. He tightens my body against his and gives me one more kiss on the forehead.


"Oh God, I love you! Well, goodbye and good luck. "


"See you tomorrow?"


"Of course."


***


Ten to eight in the evening. I'm sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for the bell to ring. I rub my legs with my hands repeatedly and take a deep breath to calm the pain I feel in the belly because of the nervous. I get up and run to the bathroom but of course, I'm interrupted by the sound of the bell. I turn back and walk slowly to the door. I don't feel at all prepared to face Jimmy after everything that happened this afternoon, including what happened with Matt.

I put my hand on the doorknob and open it slowly. I face Jimmy with his arm stretched, holding a red rose. I look with wonder to that rose which is being given to me so lovingly. He gives me the rose and, automatically, I take the rose up to my nose. That soft scent awakens in me such a calm that made me sigh.


"Thank you. I was not expecting something like this. "


"It was the only way I got to apologize for... for what I did."


"Aww, that's okay." - We both laughed at the situation. I tell him to get a sit while I'll get my stuff from my bedroom. A few minutes later, we are ready to go. Jimmy is a gentleman with me despite all that look of mocking and cheeky. He opens the car door, grabs my hand and asks me to come in. he closes the door and runs to the other side of the car, coming into the car and singing a weird song.
In the driving towards the restaurant, we're singing, talking about tattoos and what I'm actually studying. I don't even notice time passing. We arrive at the restaurant in the twinkling of an eye. We leave the car and before we entered the restaurant, we get a little looking at the sea. That breeze hit us in the face lightly, creating a moment somewhat romantic.


"I know we are still only at the beginning... but, are you regretting for coming?"


"Honestly? No, I'm not at all."


"See? Glad you got out of that house. Any day you don't even see the sunshine. "


"Unfortunately you're right."


"I confess that I wonder every time I see you, why you are like... you are, you know? But on the other hand, if you were different, I certainly wouldn't have done what I did. "


"Are you referring to what, exactly?"


"To everything. When I asked you to dinner with me... and the kiss. "


"Why'd you do it?"


"I'll be honest with you. That's what went through my mind at that moment. "


"Are you usually so impulsive?"


"You have no idea. Well, let's get in?"


"Sure."


Although I feel very well beside Jimmy and to have a lot of fun with him, Matt doesn't get out of my head. It's as if, somehow, I'm betraying him. It may seem stupid but it's hard to me. I only know Matt for three days ago but we have created a connection that has no explanation. I look at him and it's like I've known him for years. But Jimmy is a completely different person. He conveys me happiness and I feel so comfortable that I have no trouble being who I really am.

We get into the restaurant and go to the table that Jimmy had already booked. As an aside, I found it very cute. We don't stand inside of the restaurant but on the terrace. It's a very pleasant evening, there was no one on here, the stars shine like diamonds in the sky, and the waves broke as gently as the wings of a bird hit while it flies. Everything was perfect until the moment I look occasionally to the glass door that give access to the interior of the restaurant. My smile quickly disappears. My stomach trembles when my eyes find what appeared to be unlikely. Jimmy realizes that my gaze is directed to another direction. We are in the middle of the week which justified the fact that the restaurant was almost empty but at this point there are more two people present.


"Do you know them?"


"Yeah... two teachers of the college." - Professor Baker and Professor Haner. They haven't seen me already and honestly, I prefer that we continue like this for several reasons. They look exhausted. Probably, they came out of college now. I forget that I'm with Jimmy. My mind points to another direction. Professor Haner. There is nothing that makes me look away from him for more effort I do. That man has a huge power over me for no reason, I guess. I just want to take him out of this scenario.


"Hey, Natasha. You're not going to spend all night looking at them, are you? If you want to rape them, my friend, it's not hard it's just... "


"Jimmy, Jimmy ... please, I don't want you to do me an erotic summary before dinner."


"Okay, okay ... I do afterwards." - I look at Jimmy, raising my eyebrow in a way that he understand that I'm not happy with the conversation. Deep down, I was about to laugh but I also know that if this proves my enthusiasm, the conversation would end in a way that I really want, at all, to avoid. He looks at me with those sexy and bright blue eyes, biting his bottom lip while touches my hand. - "Do you mind if I leave you here alone for a few seconds? I really have to go to the toilet... and it's your entire fault!"


"Mine?" - This time I can't help and laugh harder while he gets up and starts running up the inside of the restaurant. I laugh alone for a few seconds, until my eyes meet again who I "don't" want to see. But this time everything is different. This time our eyes meet each other. Professor Haner puts his glass of wine on the table, picking up the napkin to wipe his lips gently. The only movement I do is put my hair behind my ear while I let myself be hypnotized by those eyes. His eyes don't leave mine even for a moment.


"I'm back, baby doll." - Jimmy arrives and sits quickly, startling me. - "Easy, baby... I don't wanna scare you."


"You didn't. Do you mind if I leave you here alone for a few seconds? It's my turn to go to the toilet. "


"Do you need some help?"


"Help?"


"If you'll do the same I did..."


"Oh, Jimmy, please!" - I get up, never stopping smiling at Jimmy. He touches my hand and smile affectionately. I walk straight to the door of the restaurant avoiding my eyes to look at that table in the middle of the terrace where the man who dominates all my senses is. I go into the toilet and minutes later, I'm preparing to go back to the table where Jimmy is waiting for me, but I'm not alone. When I leave the toilet, I feel someone touching my arm.


"Natasha ..."